Doctors' notes (Just fun!) »  Show posts from    to     

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Jokes - Doctors' notes (Just fun!)



Anonymous [ Saturday, 15 October 2005, 01:56 PM ]
Post subject: Doctors' notes (Just fun!)
The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting. <br /> <br /> By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. <br /> <br /> Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. <br /> <br /> On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. <br /> <br /> The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. <br /> <br /> I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious. <br /> <br /> Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor. <br /> <br /> The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. <br /> <br /> Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. <br /> <br /> Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. <br /> <br /> The patient refused an autopsy. ( <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> ) <br /> <br /> The patient has no past history of suicides. <br /> <br /> The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. <br /> <br /> Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. <br /> <br /> Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency. <br /> <br /> The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. <br /> <br /> She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. <br /> <br /> The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints. <br /> <br /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" />
Anonymous [ Saturday, 15 October 2005, 07:18 PM ]
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<img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <br /> <br /> Pangor
Kaya [ Wednesday, 22 March 2006, 02:21 AM ]
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<img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lol.gif" alt="" /> the patient refused autopsy was a funny one. "no doctor I do not want an autpsy done on me right now. I rather go home."
melamkish [ Wednesday, 22 March 2006, 04:24 AM ]
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Discharge status: Alive but without permission. <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" />
JanReinar [ Wednesday, 22 March 2006, 11:20 AM ]
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<img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" />
TdaC [ Wednesday, 22 March 2006, 02:00 PM ]
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"The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983." <br /> I love this one <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/heartbeat.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lol.gif" alt="" />
Tormie [ Saturday, 15 April 2006, 10:52 PM ]
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<img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/uaua.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/uaua.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/uaua.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/uaua.gif" alt="" />


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