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Jokes - Doctors' notes (Just fun!)
Anonymous [ Saturday, 15 October 2005, 01:56 PM ]
Post subject: Doctors' notes (Just fun!)
The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting.
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By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
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Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
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On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
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The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
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I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.
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Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
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The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
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Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
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Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
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The patient refused an autopsy. ( <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> )
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The patient has no past history of suicides.
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The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
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Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
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Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
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The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
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She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
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The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
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<img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" />
Anonymous [ Saturday, 15 October 2005, 07:18 PM ]
Post subject:
<img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" />
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Pangor
Kaya [ Wednesday, 22 March 2006, 02:21 AM ]
Post subject:
<img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lol.gif" alt="" /> the patient refused autopsy was a funny one. "no doctor I do not want an autpsy done on me right now. I rather go home."
melamkish [ Wednesday, 22 March 2006, 04:24 AM ]
Post subject:
Discharge status: Alive but without permission. <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" />
JanReinar [ Wednesday, 22 March 2006, 11:20 AM ]
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<img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lmao.gif" alt="" />
TdaC [ Wednesday, 22 March 2006, 02:00 PM ]
Post subject:
"The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983."
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I love this one <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/heartbeat.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/lol.gif" alt="" />
Tormie [ Saturday, 15 April 2006, 10:52 PM ]
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<img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/uaua.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/uaua.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/uaua.gif" alt="" /> <img src="https://www.posetteforever.com/images/smiles/uaua.gif" alt="" />