v The Great Turkey Caper
It was some years ago now, but it is still a vivid memory to me. We had just moved into our new mobile home and as two disable guys we were feeling real independent. We both used wheelchairs to get around and this was a big step for us.
Now we had been settled in for about three-month or so and Thanksgiving was upon us. What a great time to celebrate our new lifestyles with our friends. So we invited the some other single folks we knew and we would supply the setting and the Turkey and they would bring the side dishes. All plans were set and it was going to be an outstanding dinner.
About a week before the big day we went shopping and picked a nice 17 ponder, (Turkey that is) and we brought it home and put it the freezer. All was going well at this point.
The day before the feast I staid home from work to start the preparations and to play a little music, I was a closet musician in those days and was in love with my keyboards. About noon I decided to move the bird from the freezer to the sink to start the thawing process. We had left it in the paper bag the store put it in. I grabbed it by the top and started to move it to my lap, from my lap to the sink was the plan, but to my horror it fell out of the bottom of the bag and to the kitchen floor with a thud. Ok no prob, I reached down to pick it up but soon remembered why we lift it in the bag, I had nothing to get a good grip on, it just kept moving and sliding around. I tried cornering it and spent some time playing bulldozer attempting roll it to a corner, but it had a mind of it's own. When I pushed it this way it would move that way, when I pushed it that way it would move this way. Finally I got it to a corner. I leaned over to slide it up my legs but it still was to slippery and to heavy it just set their, It would take a better plan. Ok you @@ Turkey, I was getting a little upset now.
After some thought, I got it A Rope! I could hog-tie it and slide up to my lap. To this day I don't know what possessed me to think that a rope was going to work but I was desperate and just a little challenged by then. I got the rope and as I had it cornered still it was no problem to catch it again. ye haw, this cowboy was going to get him a Turkey! I tied it around it and started to pull it up my legs. One inch, two inches I was beginning to have hope. Then it was dashed as it got away and ran across the floor. I chased it around again and this took a few more agonizing and anger raisin minutes. I cornered again and started the process all over again, with the same results. I attempted this method three or fore times. By now an hour had pasted and I was real upset. Mother would have washed my mouth out with soap if she had heard the words I pronounced on that @@ Turkey.
After some more thought, I got it A Ramp! I could build a ramp and roll it up it then move it to the sink. I got my plastic transfer board I used to get in and out of my car and my manual wheelchair. The plan was simple, I would lay my wheelchair back this would lower the seat and allow a lesser slope. Good plan I should have been an engineer. I got it all set up wheelchair, the board, and after a short chase the Turkey. The plan was good except for one small problem, the chair had wheels, Da! a hint would have clued me in, the name. Each time I pushed the Turkey up the ramp the chair would roll away or the ramp would fall. My attempt’s were many but to no avail, Oh, the @@ Turkey had won. I was a humbled emotionally drained " independent" individual. I set their knowing when my roommate Tim, came home he would make fun of me. I was by then in no real good mood. About 6pm I heard the sound of the Paratransit bus pull up, he was home. I had to face the music. Now Tim is one of those guys who could read people well. When he inter the house he could feel my mood. What's wrong he asked? I heisted at first then broke down and told hem the total story. Leaving nothing out in hopes he would have pity on me. He did. He simply stated that it was ok and Lee, our friend was be over anytime and he would help.
All worked out well, the @@ Turkey maid it to the sink, and we had a grand feast. By the way that Turkey was one of the most tender birds I ever ate. And I won!!