Well , as you may know I like black/morbid/dark hunour A LOT! So this came to my mind. It's intended to look like an email from a female to Death (supposing Death is male), so this would explain the hysterical screaming.
" You lazy , ignorant , cheatful a*seful , this is the third time YOU ( yes , mister you) made a laughing stock of me! You know what? I hate you ! Yup , I hate cause you 're a liar! We had a date if you don't remember. And don't you even think of mentionning your agenda again! I have heard about your overloaded agenda exactly 573 times ( yes I count them) . This time the : "I have lot of appointments babe!" won't work! You promised me! Just for your information I 'm going to tell you how much time took me to prepare for the date . Do you think you're the only one who has lot of unpleasant tasks? Well , you're wrong! Your so-called "job" is simply going to one place to another and making fun by scaring poor superstitious people : "Booo! Fusss!" and that's all. Big deal! Besides , it 's not you who pay for the transport,isn't it? But when it comes to an appointment , you , the same guy who likes to scare old rich fat millionaires with your cool black gothic robes and old-fashioned scythe ( like you have ever worked on the fields. I bet you even don't know how to hold it properly) , you , you mister chikened out and made lot of trivial , semi-serious excuses like :"Maybe next time after 10 year or so!" , "Right now , I have to pay a visit to the pope , you know he's pretty famous and have waited much more than you." or my personal favourite : "I won't come unless you (me?) pay lot of effort , since it's you (me again?) who's asking for a date you have to do something about it. It's your (oh, mine) invitation!" Oh, really? This time a made a whole dinner myself . Do you know at how many occasions I cook? Have you ever made even a simple salad? Firstly I made your favourite hemlock soup. And it wasn't easy even to fing the recept. And I hae searched for hemlock a whole week , only because you wanted that "beep" soup. I'm wondering how was this Socrates fella able to find hemlock back in the antiquity when there was no supernarkets , grossay shops or Internet and no home delivery too. So I cooked you your precious soup for 4 hour. Do you get it? 4 (in words "four") hours!!! Then I made a rat poison dish , an excellent one :I'm talking about Warfarin , it took me even more time cause I don't have rats in my place. After that I thought you may like some sort of drink (What kind of date would it be without drinks) so I made drinks. And when I say drinks I mean really cool drinks. I made a great coctail with vodka , barbiturates , aspirins and paracetamol. Then I thought you may not like it so I put everything I found in the medicine chest along with the coctail in the shaker and made an alternative coctail. I call it "Grey vomiting fantasy" . And not to mention the antifreeze. And what have you done? You simply forgot to come like the last time. You liar! I hate you! For a desert I found some cyanide , cause I know you love it soooo much! And you simply skip , just like that! Guess what I also created a comfortable atmosphere so you can feel like home (whatever that means) , I turned on the gas stove , found your favourite Pink Floyd balad , turned it on and waited , waited, waited ,WAITED!!! So what are you going to say now in your defense mister I-have-certain-requirements-for-a-date? Doesn't this much your famous requirements? I hate you even more , after writing all that I have done for a simple date!!! There's no need to reply me cause I know what you're going to say! So *beep*!"
Note : This is for entertaiment only , don't use any of the "recipes" I really don't what's the effect! :nono: :nono: :nono:
Subject: An email to Death.
Subject:
:lmao: :lmao: Where do you come up with this stuff? :lol: :lol:
Subject:
:lmao:
I hope she is immortal or after getting that email from her, he may pay her a visit!
I hope she is immortal or after getting that email from her, he may pay her a visit!
Subject:
Yes and thay will have a lovely dinner , in the great smell of gas and some romantic music , wait why not "Death metal"? Death must love ot.
Why do immortals need a date with death? :mmmh:
Why do immortals need a date with death? :mmmh:
Subject:
That is the only way tht an immortal lady could ever meet him. ;-)
Page 1 of 1
You cannot post new topicsYou cannot reply to topics
You cannot edit your posts
You cannot delete your posts
You cannot vote in polls
You cannot attach files
You cannot download files
You cannot post calendar events