It was not a good landing.  When the travel agent talked R. Wilson Maloney and his bride-to-be Diana into renting their honeymoon shuttle from his company, he had neglected to mention a few of its quirks.  Not the least of which was an artificially intelligent computer that had a tendency to sulk at the oddest times.  And one of those times turned out to be on their honeymoon flight, while trying to negotiate the asteroid field quaintly known as The Swarm... with the unfortunate result that Maloney had to make a manual emergency landing on one of the largest planetoids  to avoid being pulverized by stray astral debris.

   They had hit the surface of the planetoid quite softly  considering it was mostly sand, that was not so surprising.  Their landing path had plowed a one kilometer furrow along the dunes.  Unfortunately they had also grazed a few rocky outcrops along the way, ripping off the navigational sensors.  An even more unfortunate byproduct was a power spike that fried their communications suite.  To top it off, the engineering display panels were lit with crimson telltales announcing to Maloney's dismayed eyes that the engines were non-functioning.
    Great.  No power, no way of knowing where we are, and no way of contacting anyone else.  Just... great.  He stomped out of the cockpit and made his way through the ship to the main entrance hatch.  While Maloney was freeing up the latches the emergency power lights over the door failed, plunging him into darkness.  He kicked at the hatch in a pointless display of anger. As he had just un-dogged it, he fell through and landed with a bump on the hot dusty surface of the planetoid.  After ruefully rubbing the back of his head, he stood up and surveyed the sorry mess.  With a sour eye, Maloney noticed that the primary lifter engine ducts were clogged beyond practical repair.
   Maloney sat down, head in hands.  It wasn't until he heard his wife coming up beside him that he stirred.  She sat down beside him and took his hand.
   Hello, love.  Any news?  Diana Maloney looked at her husband with a shy smile.  To say they were in love would be to put it mildly.  She noticed the frown on his face  and though he tried to hide it  the sadness in his voice.  She pretended not to notice.

   There was a sound behind them, a noise that could only be described as someone farting in a tub of gelatin.  Diana's face lit up.
   Oh, honey, look!  Sweetums survived the crash!
   Maloney's expression darkened.  He had truly thought that his day could get no worse.  With a wry smile, he turned and faced the large ungainly pile of fur, drool and odors that had bedeviled his life since he met Diana.
   Sweetums was a shorrie  an animal native to Alturr that was the pet of choice for upwardly mobile Alturrian women.  No-one quite knew why.  If you took a kangaroo, a sheep and a walrus and put them in a large enough Blender, you might end up with a shorrie.  Or at least something that smelt like a shorrie, in any case.  To Diana, Sweetums was a cute, cuddly, gentle-natured baby substitute.  To Maloney, the shorrie was one big needy pain in the ass  but being so in love with Diana, he didn't have the heart to tell her.

   The shorrie sniffed the air, then bounded away from the crash-site.  Diana followed, ignoring protests from Maloney.  When he eventually caught up with the pair, he couldn't believe his eyes.
   Beside a shimmering crystal-clear pool of water, the shorrie was happily munching away at some bright purple fruits growing on a large bush.
   Maybe the damn animal has a use after all, muttered Maloney under his breath.  He walked over to the bush, picked a fruit, and sniffed.
   Smells okay...
   He took a bite.  He hurled.  Copiously

   That night, after most of his vomiting had subsided, Diana fed him a dinner of beans from the yacht's limited emergency supplies.  Beans seemed to be a favorite with whoever had stocked the ship, because there was little else.  As Maloney loathed beans from childhood, he was none-too-happy.  Maybe if they cooked the fruit first....

   After a couple more attempts at eating the fruit  and a couple more nights puking his guts out  Maloney was resigned to his culinary fate.  Nearly.  Whenever his eye caught sight of Sweetums, he couldn't help but notice the amount of meat on its bones.  Diana was shocked at the thought, but as Maloney pointed out, once their food supply ran out, they may have no choice.

   Three weeks later.  A distinctly disheveled Maloney sat on a rock, scraping the very last of the meager beans from his plate.  Diana, too, was finishing her last meal.  Wiping the sauce from his plate, Maloney sighed.  Unfulfilled, his stomach gurgled loudly.  Sourly, he eyed the shorrie, which was contentedly grazing on the lush vegetation around their campsite.  While they had lost weight, the shorrie had grown ever more fatter.  Which, considering where their next meal may have to come from, was no bad thing....

   Wordlessly he got up, and headed back to the wreck.  Diana followed morosely, all too aware of what was on his mind.  Maloney had stored his blaster in the luggage bay, which was buried in the sand.  Rolling up his sleeves, he started digging.

   It was a long, hard fight to get into the belly of the craft.  Three hours of toiling away had served to get him absolutely filthy, sticky and cranky.  And when he had unearthed the luggage bay door, his hunt for the blaster was not made any easier.  There was a mountain of unwrapped wedding gifts to move first.  After hauling out the fifth dinner set, Maloney was in a foul mood. A mood not made any better when a particularly heavy package fell on him, pinning his legs.
   Diana!
   Diana made her way into the luggage bay, and despite the gravity of the situation, she had to laugh. Maloney was not amused.
   Get this thing off of me!
   Diana heaved and pushed, and eventually the package moved.  Unable to help herself, she ripped off some of the wrapping paper and stared quizzically at the label on the box.
   Honey, what exactly is a Quelltron TX3500 Subspace Transceiver?
   Maloney's jaw dropped.  Could you repeat that, dearest?  She did.  Maloney got up, his pain forgotton.  He tore open the box, and stared dumbfounded.
   Diana, do you know what this is?  A portable subspace radio.  We are saved!
   You mean we won't have to kill Sweetums? said Diana.
   Maloney smiled.  No dear, we don't have to kill Sweetums.
   Diana broke down in relief  the shorrie had been her faithful companion for years.  While she was composing herself, Maloney picked at the brightly-colored wrapping.  Where did this come from, anyway?
   Through sobs of joy, Diana read the card attached.  Oh... it was from Daddy  his wedding gift.
   A wedding gift?  You mean that if we didn't fall in love, and hadn't got married, we wouldn't have the radio?  Diana nodded.
   Maloney giggled, and sat beside his wife, his arms around her hugging her tightly.
   Well, dear, then I guess the old saying still applies: Love means never having to slay your shorrie...

(Yes, I know I'm gonna get lynched for that one!   Wrote this story fairly recently, about 2003 if I remember correctly.)

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Am I the only one who thinks they named it Windows because it is a major pane? BA-DUM BOOM!!

It sounded like one. It's only just begun. I'm glad you liked it GrouchoCaesar. It seemed like until he heard his wife coming up beside him that he stirred. When were they? And the what happened? Does that happen often? The  blue  one, I think. Yes GrouchoCaesar I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?

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I won the Loebner prize !