Three men die a few days before Christmas and find themselves at
the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is standing there and says to the men...
"Before you can enter Heaven, you must have something in your possession that is symbolic of this holy time."

The first man reaches into his pocket, fishes around a bit and pulls
out a lighter. He flicks the lighter and tells St. Peter that the lighter's
flame is symbolic of a candle.
St. Peter finds this acceptable and lets the man enter Heaven.

The second man produces a set of keys and tells St. Peter that these are
symbolic of bells.  St. Peter lets this man enter Heaven as well.

The third man fumbles around and produces a pair of women's panties...
St. Peter raises an eyebrow and asks the man...
"What does this symbolize?"
The man, grinning like   Ozy Jones    on an Aussie beach says...
"These? Why, these are Carol's"...  

    

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Two wrongs don't make a right.
But six left turns will get you around the block
and back in the driveway again.

Joy to the world! For Carol's bare bum!
It's smooth and firm and round.
Let me prepare her room,
and heaven and nature sing.

Joy to the earth! Carol's so cute!
let men their songs employ
for her eyes and hair and smile,
repeat the sounding joy.

 

Joy? Who's Joy?! I thought we were Carolling  

Thanks for the laugh Den  

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Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

You been hittin' the brewskis there Mr. Jones...
or are you just happy to be here ?

Just happy to be in this cheerful little virtual world... away from the cares and troubles of the real one

And just feeling a little like bein' silly

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Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by." - Douglas Adams