So, the release date for Grand Theft Auto IV is rapidly approaching, and I don't have (A) a next-generation consle, and (B) the means of getting one any time soon. On top of that, my sister - who I live with along with her ex-boyfriend - has decreed that I'm already a video-game addict as it is, and the day that I buy an XBox 360 is the day she'll cause me some serious injury... even worse than that, GTA IV is nothing more than violent destructive techno-porn. It's bad enough I play GTA San Andreas - this new one must be much much worse... and so on.
(I'm ignoring the fact that I'm 42 and Li'l Sis is all of 23... I'm a male, and therefore to her logic can't be trusted to make an intelligent decision for myself!)
However... as luck would have it, Li'l Sis's ex-boyfriend has just turned 18, and his mother decides to buy him something extravagant. (Me and Li'l Sis call him The Plant, because he's quiet, seems to exist on nothing but water and sunshine, and is quite tall.... but I digress.)
Now, knowing full well that whoever is stupid enough to bring an XBox into the house will receive the full wrath of Li'l Sis, I'm very careful not to actually put into words that an XBox would be a good idea... but enough hints, nudges, and viewings of the GTA IV trailers manages to place the seed of an idea into The Plant's head... so off he goes, and sure enough this Monday - one day before GTA IV's release - him and his mom show up with a nice shiny new toy. Safe to say, grins all round (for us two at any rate) while we set it up.
As it happens, The Plant ain't entirely dumb, because he went and bought Burnout: Paradise at the same time, because he knows that Li'l Sis loves racing games, and has said she wants to play that when we eventually do get a new console.
So Li'l Sis walks in after work, sees Burnout:Paradise on the TV - and goes completely monkey-dung at us for bringing that evil white box into the house. We both get it with both barrels. We are called (deep breath) stupid, uncaring, unlistening, wontonly disobedient.... well, the list goes on.
Cut to today. It's Saturday. Just gone 12 midday as I write. And all I can hear in the background is my Li'l Sis hooning around in GTA IV having a blast and totally enthralled in the game's storyline. I'll be lucky if I even get to touch the machine before tonight. Sheesh.
All this stupidity aside, if you ever get the chance to play with GTA IV, do so... but not for the game. Just take a ride around the city, and fall in love with the graphics. It's the first game I've played where, if the time of day is just right in the game, and you are in the right location, you can be forgiven for thinking you are looking at real life. I've been exploring Liberty City for a few days now, and even though I've only explored about 30% of the place, I an continually stunned at how much detail is in the game's images. And as someone who dabbles a little in CGI, I appreciate it a lot more than the average slob who just goes out to buy the game so he can kill his friends online. The amount of work put into even the smallest detail is astounding. I spent six hours just going through the industrial areas on one island.
The gameplay is great. There is real emotional content to the characters and story-line. Online play is a blast. If you have an XBox 360 or a PS3, you need this game in your library, if only to see what $100 million and 150 programmers can do when really inspired.