Yep , another rant! As you may know I quit my painting classes and started to look for a new ones. Since I have some relatives which are painters it wasn't difficult at all (I should quit earlier) , but for my great astonishment one of the teachers was so open-minded that wanted to see my 3D stuff though she don't use 2D or 3D programs at all. Well this sounds quite wonderful , the problem is some people thought that this sligh requiest is some sort of order and the same people decided that they should examine it first. So since my mom knows I'm posting my works on the internet she told me to give her the adress of the gallery where they are located to "examine" them and say whatever I should show them to the teacher or not. Well , reguarding the last few pics by me in the album this really was a big problem! I mean how I'm supposed to give explanation to
This ,
This or
That to my own mom? So , I said that I had no internet connection during that time and suggested to put all my works on a disk and give it to the teacher, hoping that I'll be able to do some portraits and paysages and retouch a little the old ones to become "accetable". But the same night she wanted to choose among my works the best ones to upload and I had to drive her from pillar to post about 2 hours and half opening random folders on the hard disk , folder after folder even the recycle bin insisting that "there was something there". I showed her my backgrounds , my new brushes , the "junk" , my earlier works , some unfinished things , a mixtures of PS filters , my textures , the sellen alphabet and some pics more "normal" than the ususal once and she didn't crease to insist to open the folders again cause she had "saw something which I've missed" . Of course I missed something : wait I missed everything and put on the disk only the earlier ones some test renders and fractals. However , after she finally got satisfied with the guantity and expressed her opinion that "It is very unlikely to the teacher to say something positive about this rubbish" and went out I finally uploaded some of the recent works on the disk but still not all of them .I know the teacher 's not going to like all this stuff much and probably wouldn't comment them at all but still this is far more better that giving a comment to the actual works to my parents , exspecially if I included the 2 cover versions on the disk. But still I am angry ! This is some sort of auto-censorship in order to make a good image of myself and I don't like it!!!!!!!!!
And I also hate when people ransack my stuff! A week ago my mom started to search for an old textbook to give it to a younger student and have ransacked my whole desk , looked at all my diaries from 2002 to now (Fortunately I wrote them using my alphabet ) , notebooks even single pieces of paper only to find out that the damn textbook wasb't there. I hate when someone ransacks like that! Even told me : "Don't write with these silly characters , the teachers get irritated from them! They can't understand these nonsense and probably will rate you less because of this!" Of course they don't that was the goal to have some sort of protection in case when somebody starts ransacks like that . Not mentioning a drawer she was about to examine which was full of razor blades , the "book" I'm writing and other stuff like that. I 'll say it again : I hate when someone ransacks my room like this!!!
I guess that was all.
Auto censorship! (rant)
, I hate it and in the past I become so hysteric that my parents scared and never touched my things again.
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I won the Loebner prize 
! 
