100 Daddy Farted, And We Can't Get Out!
99 Watch Out For The Idiot Behind Me.
98 Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
97 My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
96 Horn Broken Watch For Finger
95 Who Are These Kids And Why Are They Calling Me Mom?
94 Save Trees! Eat More Beavers.
93 I Need Someone Really Bad. Are You Really Bad?
92 I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.
91 I Love My Country. It's The Government That Pisses Me Off.
90 Never Play Leap Frog With A Unicorn.
89 No One Is Listening Until You Make A Mistake.
88 No Radio. Already Stolen.
87 Of All The Things I've Lost, I Miss My Mind The Most!
86 Oh Sure. But What's The Speed Of Dark?
85 OK, Who Stopped The Payment On My Reality Check?
84 On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.
83 Out Of My Mind. Back In Five Minutes.
82 Previous Owner Had An Honor Student!
81 You Are Depriving Some Poor Village Of Its Idiot.
80 You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
79 You! Off My Planet!
78 Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But You're Still An Idiot.
77 Your So Boring, If You Threw A Boomerang, It Wouldn't Come Back To You!
76 When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be Just Like Barbie. That Bitch Has Everything!
75 Why Are Hemorrhoids Called "Hemorrhoids" Instead Of "Asteroids"?
74 Why Is It Called Tourist Season If We Can't Shoot At Them?
73 Why Is The Alphabet In That Order? Is It Because Of That Song?
72 Will Work For Food... Will Beg For Sex
71 Woman Make Great Leaders, You're Following One!
70 Women Who Seek To Be Equal To Men Lack Ambition.
69 Work Is For People Who Don't Know How To Fish.
68 Sure You Can Trust The Government. Just Ask An Indian!
67 Ted Kennedy's Car Has Killed More People Than My Gun.
66 The Fact That No One Understands You Doesn't Mean You're An Artist
65 The Road To Hell Is Paved With Democrats
64 The Road To Hell Is Paved With Republicans
63 The Trouble With Political Jokes Is That They Get Elected.
62 They're Not Hot Flashes...They're POWER SURGES!
61 Red Meat Isn't Bad For You. Fuzzy Green Meat Is!
60 Rehab Is For Quitters.
59 Reincarnation Is Making A Comeback!
58 Romance Is Like Chess: One False Move And You're Mated.
57 Santa's Elves Are Just A Bunch Of Subordinate Clauses.
56 Should Crematoriums Give Discounts For Burn Victims?
55 Smoking - Think Of It As Evolution In Action.
54 So You're A Feminist. Isn't That Cute!
53 If God Intended Man To Smoke, He Would Have Set Him On Fire.
52 If I Throw A Stick, Will You Leave?
51 If I Would Like To Hear From An Asshole, I'd
FART!
50 If The #2 Pencil Is The Most Popular, Why Is It Still #2?
49 Keep Granny Off The Streets, Support Bingo.
48 Life Is A Sexually Transmitted Disease.
47 Love Is Blind. And When You Get Married You Get Your Eyesight Back.
46 Missing Dog And Wife. Reward For Dog!
45 More Hay, Trigger? "No Thanks, Roy, I'm Stuffed!"
44 My Karma Ran Over My Dogma.
43 My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him.
42 If You're Rich, I'm Single!
41 I'm Not An Alcoholic. I'm A Drunk. Alcoholics Go To Meetings.
40 Isn't Having A Smoking Section In A Restaurant Like Having A Peeing Section In A Swimming Pool?
39 I Remember When The Candle Shop Burned Down. Everyone Stood Around Singing "Happy Birthday".
38 I Think That I Think, Therefore I Think That I Am.
37 I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend On Me
36 IRS: We've Got What It Takes To Take What You've Got
35 Save gas,
FART in a jar.
34 If A Woman Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
33 Born Free. Taxed To Death!
32 CATS. The Other White Meat!
31 Crime Wouldn't Pay If The Government Ran It.
30 Unless You're A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass!
29 Wanna Get Laid? Just Crawl Up A Chicken's Ass And Wait!
28 Welcome To Shit Creek - Sorry, We're Out Of Paddles
27 And Your Crybaby Whiny Assed Opinion Would Be?
26 Whose Cruel Idea Was It For The Word "Lisp" To Have An "S" In It?
25 Assassins Do It From Behind!
24 Ass, Grass, Or Gas - Nobody Rides For Free!
23 Beautify Texas! Put A Yankee On A Bus.
22 Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beer Holder.
21 What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull!
20 Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
19 Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition
18 I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
17 If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With >Bullets.
16 Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
15 0 To Bitch In 3.6 Seconds
14 100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?
13 Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires
12 "Criminal Lawyer" Is A Redundancy
11 Consciousness: That Annoying Time Between Naps.
10 Friends Help You Move. Real Friends Help You Move Bodies.
9 Give Me Ambiguity Or Give Me Something Else.
8 I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It!
7 Lottery: A Tax On People Who Are Bad At Math.
6 We Have Enough Youth, How About A Fountain Of Smart?
5 Will Work For Sex
4 Visualize My Turn Signals Working
3 Flies Spread Disease - Keep Yours Zipped
2 Very Funny, Scotty. Now Beam Down My Clothes.
1 Impotentce: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"
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