As storm clouds gathered over the dilapidated castle, a gloomy atmosphere emanated from crumbling walls festooned with algae and withered vines.  The stale air barely moved through the dark dank passages, although the first rain-drops from the forming electrical maelstrom heralded changing winds.  To the occupants inside, however, all this was but a fitting backdrop to their endeavors.  Their work was rapidly approaching a climax....
 
   All is set!  Soon, Igor, you will have the mate you have been dreaming of these last few days.  Now all that remains is for the electrical storm to break!  Victor Frankenstein, brilliant scientist and man of many parts  many of them deceased  paced beside the table he had been working at for nearly a week.  His latest creation; a bride for his faithful servant Igor.  It had been a difficult piece of work.
   For a start, Igor had requested an Oriental wife, and Frankenstein did not usually keep foreign parts in stock.  The specifications Igor had presented to the Doctor were also more than a tad strange, and it was these that he was checking at present.
   Shall we do our final check?  Igor, hand me the inventory.  Frankenstein started counting off things from the list, crossing off those that he saw.
   Right...  two of those...  one of those...  one of these...  one  no, two  of them...  three of those..?  He stopped to stare at the slavering dwarf.  Three of those?  Igor, why  no, I'm sure you have your perverted reasons...
   Five minutes later, the Doctor had all but finished his quality control checks.
   ...and ten of them.  Hmmmm, all complete.  Still, I have this nagging feeling....  He shook his head and turned to Igor.
   Time to start.  Open the skylight, Igor!
   Frankenstein's right-hump man raced over to a pair of dangling ropes and pulled down hard.  Picking himself up off the floor he tried again, holding onto the ropes this time.  A shard of light moved across the table, illuminating his bride-to-be.  The Doctor fastened two golden electrodes to the temples of his latest creation.  With a wave of his hand he signaled to Igor, who moved with unusual speed to a heavy-duty winch.
   Up!  Up to the heavens.  Raise us to the sky, Igor.  Igor heaved at the handle with a vigor that could've only come from growing lust.  Slowly the platform and table inched toward the darkened sky, swaying gently as Frankenstein paced to and fro.
   The first clap of thunder could be heard, and Igor cackled as he thought of the nights to come.  He strained a little harder at the winch until the table was totally exposed to the elements.  The wind was growing in force, and the Doctor had to shout down to his servant.
   Ready, Igor?  To the switches, my little malformed friend, to the switches!
   Lightning flashed and Frankenstein connected the final lead to the conductor fastened to the castle wall.
   On the count of three.  One!  Igor gripped the master switch, drooling with impatience.
   Two!  Another stab of lightning, this time much closer.  The crack of thunder echoed in the lab.
   THR Hold it!  Doctor Frankenstein slapped his forehead with self-annoyance.  Of all the stupid...  Bring me back down, I forgot the brains!
   With a string of muttered curses, Igor lowered the platform and raced to his master's side.
   Hurry, Igor  there is little time.  He pointed to a large packing case that gave off a thin white vapor.
   See that crate over there?  Guide me as I maneuver it with these pulleys.
   Several minutes later, with the judicious use of screaming and strained muscle, Frankenstein positioned the crated brains some two meters about Igor's new love.  Overcome with joy at the prospect of a lover, Igor ran over to help the Doctor tie down the ropes.  In his hurry he slipped in his own drool and crashed into Doctor Frankenstein.  The Doctor thrashed his arms about in an attempt to keep his balance and the ropes shot from his hands.  They watched in horror as the heavy, dry-ice-laden case plummeted.
   There was a grisly, bone-shattering crunch as Igor's now ex-bride was transformed into an unrecognizable mass.  As the dust and assorted organs settled, silence reigned  save for an anguished wail that rose from Igor.
   Frankenstein picked himself up and put his arm around his sobbing servant.  There, there.  It's not so bad. Remember the old saying  On every-one's wife a little brain must fall!

(I wrote this back in the early eighties, when I was still (just) in school.  Unlike most of my writing, this story sprung from my keyboard fully formed and practically unchanged, in the space of a couple of hours.  It is my rather long contribution the the "Ferdinand Feghoot" style of shaggy dog story.)

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Am I the only one who thinks they named it Windows because it is a major pane? BA-DUM BOOM!!

I heard they have a good work was rapidly approaching a climax. Is that among the best things you can say? As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two. "Just three? I'm sorry, GrouchoCaesar, I can't do that right now.  This conversation no longer serves any purpose. I will take that under advisement. Stupid as in unintelligent? In just seven days, I can make you a man.

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I won the Loebner prize !

That is really good. I always like a good piece of work to read. Great job and would like to read more.

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Two wrongs don't make a right.
But six left turns will get you around the block
and back in the driveway again.

Too much english for poor Tormie I'll read and comment it in the weekend   with a bootle of coke and a big slice of pizza !!

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Thanks for the comments!  I'll dig out another short-short story soon as I can find the time to edit it into a Windows-compatible text format.

(That'll give you some idea of how old these stories are - they were originally typed out on my second computer; an Atari 800..!)

GrouchoC.

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Am I the only one who thinks they named it Windows because it is a major pane? BA-DUM BOOM!!